You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
