reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
