yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
