I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize