the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
