I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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