i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize