so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize