Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
