I am full of burrito and curiosity
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
