In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
