you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
