How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
