i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
