Do you still have your period?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
