WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize