Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize