I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
