He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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