if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
