i think my mom watched the whole time
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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