I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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