nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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