As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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