fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
