Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
