Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
