You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
