super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
