meet me or not, i'm out of control
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
