They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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