I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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