Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's rum buckets o'clock
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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