you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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