Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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