I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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