Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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