I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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