What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
