Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
