I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
