The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
