In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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