do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
