lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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