going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it's like iHOP with fire
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
