you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize