The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize