If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
