where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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