So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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