i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
