She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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