You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
