Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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