cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize