I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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