FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
