Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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