Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
