She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
