why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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