I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize