Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
