I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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