what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
