You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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