he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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