I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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